At a crossroads

Flickr jennifersquires 659

Flickr jennifersquires

Since my previous post I’ve been getting back on track with Modern Quilt Guild and with my bloglovin’ reading. I’ve also spent some time pondering what I want in general from working with fabrics and yarn.

My jewellery shop needs a serious update and I’ve hunted down some branding moodboards on Pinterest to use as inspiration when creating my own moodboard. In that same breath I realise I need to be more clear here, too, and not only in regards to the visual aspects of my presence in the social media.

While I absolutely love looking at everything that people make on Instagram, I’m back at feeling how I felt a year ago; like my style is still missing somehow. I’ve also felt as though I should be a factory line regarding how much I craft. My comparing myself to other people is obviously something that happens in my own mind only and right now I’m doing my best to shake off that feeling. It’s not necessarily a feeling of inadequacy, though, but more like being in friction with the self, its needs and desires, whilst respecting various restrictions such as financial limits.

A good example would be a future bedspread. I’ve been wanting to make one for a long time, yet I have found neither perfect pattern nor colour scheme. It’s about being undecided on patterns versus solids even! This desire has evolved into the friction I mentioned and I’m dissatisfied because I’ve had the expectation that since “everyone else” sews and quilts like crazy, I should be doing the same. There are only 24 hours in any given day, dear…

Perhaps I’m unusual, but I do have a bazillion different interests. Fact is I could pursue all of them in that “crazy dedicated” manner – if they happened to be the one and only interest of mine. But they all compete with one another and up until now I haven’t been the boss of my mind that I should have been and would have needed in this particular area of my life.

I need to be better at answering the question “Why?”; “Why should I make this project?” and “Do I truly need this item?” It can be a bit overwhelming to look at the amount of Stuff that is created and posted on Instagram on a daily basis, because I’m working constantly on decluttering as opposed to adding more to my home.  Stuff is mostly on its way out, which doesn’t mix well with crafting, unless one has a good channel to merely be sort of a mid-station in the process.

A blunt confession is that I love cutesy fabrics in theory, but I really don’t want them all over my home. The only place that I could even consider decorating in the colour-party style is a craft room. Which I don’t have at the moment. I also don’t want lots of cutesy trinkets such as bookmarks or pouches or you-name-its everywhere. And I can’t stand gifting lots of stuff to people. If I’m in doubt, I always give something one can eat or drink, or an experience.

Flickr yvestown 640

Flickr yvestown

The wardrobe is amidst a major overhaul and I’m truly inspired by Project 333. To me heaven sounds like a few pieces of extremely good quality, which can be mixed and matched endlessly, and the whole “women love shoe shopping and need endless amounts of high heels” is making me shake my head in wonder. The rest of my home is being decluttered in the same spirit and a cozy, minimalist decor makes my heart sing. A tentatively rainbow-coloured fabric stash in a craft room is something I still would love to have, though (just look at the photo above!), but on the condition that I can send into the world nearly everything made in it.

Flickr stephcarter 640

Flickr stephcarter

It’s only today, when scanning through my Pinterest boards, that I’m ready to accept a crafting style of my own. I meditate daily and try to practice mindfulness as often as I can, so instead of causing me to feel suffocated, I need to be better at picking and choosing what projects to make. I doubt I’ll ever stop loving window shopping on Instagram, but it’s time that I let myself be who I really am as far as crafting goes.

So what is it that I want (well, need really) from my home? I want love, peace, quiet, harmony, cleanliness, and fun, in short a sanctuary. Experiences, the full range of emotions, and people create such a space that is both inviting and safe to exist in. Editing my belongings to reflect this idea and to support me rather than wear me down is my purpose when writing these words.

Are you in balance regarding your crafting? Happy and satisfied about the choices you make?


6 thoughts on “At a crossroads

  1. Kristy Daum

    We all in some way/shape/form feel the need to “keep up”, so you are definitely NOT alone. I over-stretched myself this past month and a half and am feeling the effects as I have not been motivated to do much of any sewing, as my creativity has dipped off considerably.

    I think it is wonderful that you have realized you cannot do it all, and pulling the trigger on the reasons, “Why?” you want to make something is definitely a great place to start.

    I believe that when we can be true to ourselves, that is when we will find peace. Good Luck on your journey, and keep us posted.

    1. Nina With Freckles Post author

      Hi Kristy, thanks for stopping by! I finally grabbed your URL and added it to my bloglovin feed :)

      As for the over-stretching oneself, that’s exactly what I’m tired of. I’m also sick of looking at a decent WIP pile. I’m quite good at practicing moderation in some other areas of life, but this crafting thing has been a bit out of control because of all the lovely patterns and fabrics out there.

      I hope you get your sewing motivation back, at least your newest pattern looks wonderful!

        1. Nina With Freckles Post author

          Oh, no I hadn’t seen that yet, thanks for linking! I think part of what has made me so out of breath somehow is the high speed. It seriously knocks the wind out of me a bit; gotta make gotta make gotta make… I just can’t crank out anything with love if those are the “rules”. But good news is (dorky yours truly… *chuckles at herself*) I can make My Own Rules. How about that…

  2. Stina

    Nina…you are definitely not alone…have been on and off quilt world or anything crafty for almost three years now…and have struggled to come back…and still not there yet..but it’s coming back…and all I can do is to accept that it will take time…still am lost but know in my heart it still there…you just have to be kind to yourself… Be more here and now…and do what you love…and one day …surprise…it happens!!

    1. Nina With Freckles Post author

      Hi Stina, thanks for a thoughtful reply! I think you’re right in that one should be very much in the moment rather than in the past or the future even.

      I think in my case it’s more about choosing very carefully what I make and when/how I make it rather than not wanting to do things, because while it’s nice to participate in for instance sampler quilt projects, my heart hasn’t always been totally committed. In that respect I think our bee will be more suitable, because while the amount of blocks is approximately the same, it’s always a new project – if that makes any sense?

      Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I’m looking forward to quilting with you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s